Would you mind answering these very 22-year-old questions for me? 1) What is *your* definition of love? 2) I constantly wonder why we humans do things that make us so unhappy at times, even though we know we could die at any millisecond. How do you feel about this? How do you feel in general? What makes you happy? (Psychologist wannabe over here…) 3) Favorite quote? 4) Favorite song? (These rather large ears are desperate for new music.) 5) My 23rd birthday is coming up…ish. How should I celebrate? How did you/others you know celebrate this mega milestone…not.
I like using these as prompts, so here goes!
- There is a lot of brain chemistry involved in how we feel and experience love, and I think that is almost completely discounted by the population at large. My theory is that it is not romantic, but science is spectacular and fantastic, and I think that if we focus on these interactions we can live more fulfilling lives. For instance, many people express love in terms of mitigating emotional pain. They fall into patterns and hold external factors accountable, whereas it would probably be useful to study their childhood and investigate how they were taught to share their feelings and empathize with others.
- I am generally content, most times. I have a very fortunate life, tempered by early life trauma. I am engaged in my work, and constantly help others, most of whom are working on social issues that help larger numbers of people. This is because I define my happiness by being in the service of others. I had to take care of my core needs first, and really it is an ongoing process of helping others and helping myself. But it is a fluid process now, a cycle, so it is fairly easy to maintain. As for why people discount the fact they could die at any moment, it is because humans have a difficult time attributing value in non-abstract ways. Death is a biggie, but so are crap foods, sedentary lifestyles, and ultimately, religion.
- The first quote that comes to mind is by Bertrand Russell, and while I can’t remember it verbatim, the sentiment is something that I use to navigate people. Sometimes it is worth it to not recognize convention, and at times it is important to role-play as another person, to help someone.
- I posted about some music I started listening to lately, and currently my favorite song is Lost Generation, by Rizzle Kicks (the music video is decent).
- Here is some opinion, which seems conventional to me, but may be unconventional to our culture (as Californian-Americans): birthdays have no intrinsic meaning, outside of measuring averages for human development. I don’t celebrate birthdays for a variety of reasons: it is stressful to get a person a gift when you are poor, it gives me an excuse to not cherish people as often as possible, it gives people a sense of worth, by only on one day (hint: today is your day, don’t wait!), but most of all, I just don’t care. Folks have their reasons for celebrating birthdays, but they don’t make me care, so there is that.
That said, my 23rd birthday was a milestone for me: it was the first time I drank after my 21st birthday. I guess that is more commentary on how that event went. I don’t drink anymore, but that is a whole big ol’ post in and of itself. ^_^
I support a lot of role-playing games fund-raising campaigns. It is an easy low-level tier reward to let people give feedback on pre-production drafts of the game. I’ve seen it happen half a dozen times, this process:
- I get a link to some proprietary storage locker with an expiring link, or a password that I am not supposed to share with any non-backers (or sometimes, only within my play group).
- I am given an address to mail feedback to.
- One day later, too much feedback, we are all awesome for being passionate, but now we have a form-based feedback system to use. And by form-based, they mean Google Docs.
- Goto 1 for another draft, then back to the feedback forms.
This system could be improved, really easily and immediately. But it would trade up scarcity of the material, which is the perceived value of copyrighted works. If I ran a fund-raising campaign to finish a work, my process would be:
- Links to the drafts of the works, in open standard document formats, and most likely a wiki or other web-based versioning system, where feedback can be given and discussed openly.
A lot of the systems that I refuse to deal with, such as Google Docs, are primarily used to enforce workflows that are based on scarcity of culture, and run counter to easier methods of expression. RPGs are literally about people sitting around a table making up stories. We would be smart to emulate that workflow.
The most recent The Listserve message asked five questions:
- What sort of advice would you give a young adult?
- What is your favourite book? (Movie, TV show, etc.)
- Where is the best place you’ve lived or visited? Most interesting adventure?
- What is a something I should learn how to do?
- If you haven’t got anything to say to the above, then tell me a story about yourself! Anything at all, don’t be shy!
Here are my answers.
What sort of advice would you give a young adult?
There are three things I now believe that I wish I had been told when I was younger.
- Acting compassionate makes us compassionate – I learned this from a Buddhist text, and starting practicing it as an experiment, and have had great success. I had always wondered why some people where nicer than others, turns out it was environment and training; acting with compassion with change your environment.
- How we “love” is based on early childhood interactions – Folks get stuck in patterns, and often times feel like they are doomed to repeat their relationship mishaps. I’ve found that some (well, most) people define their love by how much they can mitigate being hurt. Humans learn risk aversion because we are excellent problem solvers and have really complex memory systems. Keeping this in mind helps me in matters of the heart.
- People regret not being happy in life – On the list of things that patients share with nurses as they are dying is the regret that they didn’t let themselves be happy in their life (also, should have spent more time with family and should have worked less, make note). That is profound, because it means that folks who are older than you, hypothetical young person, figured out enough about life to know that they could have let themselves be happy, but for some reason didn’t. Heads up, let yourself be happy.
What is your favourite book? (Movie, TV show, etc.)
Don’t have favorites. But I like the themes of systems being so complex as to appear magical, but also ultimately insidious, and outlier individuals overcoming personal demons to become “saviors”, whose behavior should be emulated to overthrow said complex system. Hence, I tend towards science fantasy, like Descartes, Ghost in the Shell, The Matrix, Inception, Scrapped Princess, Sword Art Online, etc.
Where is the best place you’ve lived or visited? Most interesting adventure?
The internet, port of call: my head.
sounding being a bit ageist, I wouldn’t tell young people about my most interesting adventures, unless they were “well-travelled” in particular ways. Model by example, and all that.
What is a something I should learn how to do?
Write well, and on a broad field of subjects. Write a lot. And use WordPress, or something similar. Learning how to do basic markup on the web is more valuable than a college degree, because all those people with degrees pay me to do fairly basic things, and they will pay you, too.
If you haven’t got anything to say to the above, then tell me a story about yourself! Anything at all, don’t be shy!
Just did a site migration; brain is at capacity. So many bad practices, so little time to write letters of complaint…
To the operators of http://freedownloadmovies.tv, it has come to my attention that you are hosting images of my child, Emma Clover, on a biography page describing an actor of the same name. The page I am describing is preserved at https://web.archive.org/web/20131127011611/http://freedownloadmovies.tv/biography/Clover,_Emma.
As a webcrafter, I am professionally dismayed at the typography and inaccessibility of that site. It does not respond to various devices, and has extraneous markup that prohibits it from being read by services that help people in understanding the subject. You’ve taken the time to add the so-called “open social graph” elements, but you still load iframes and wrap everything in unnecessary div blocks. I recommend that you seek a professional webcrafter to redo your site that follows modern best practices and technology.
However, that is not why I am writing to you today; rather, it is the personal matter of hosting images of my young child Emma Clover. No doubt you have some automated services scraping the internet for images, and I hope this causes you to reconsider that strategy and take a more hands-on approach to gathering information.
All the images you’ve used are either full copyright, or licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Share-Alike license. Where it is licensed under CC, we require attribution. As the images you’ve pulled are from a few different sites, please check your logs and attribute correctly (we normally ask for the name of the photographer, either me or Susan Magnolia, and a link to the appropriate site). As an advocate of the commons, I will help you in this if you’d like, you can reach me at firstname.lastname@example.org, or one of the ways described at http://interi.org/contact.
If your software prohibits you from easily attributing those images, or you otherwise choose not to comply with the license we’ve released those images under, please remove them from your site. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me, or check the resources listed at http://creativecommons.org/contact; the mailing list or IRC channel may be the quickest way to get help on how to use culture licensed with Creative Commons.
I look forward to your response and compliance.
This is also posted as an open letter at http://interi.org/2013/11/open-letter-freedownloadmoviestv/.
I don’t watch tv as the executives that be wish me to; that is, in arbitrary chunks of time padded by advertisements. But I do watch a lot of shows. I only listen to radio in short bursts of car sharing, and I just hunt for a local NPR affiliate. These facts combine to form how I discover new music.
There are roughly four categories of exposure (with primary examples):
- British panel quiz shows (Never Mind The Buzzcocks, Was It Something I Said?)
- Japanese media (anime and live-action openings and endings)
- American shows (mainly The Daily Show, Colbert Report and SNL)
- Video games
I always forget to set up Libre.fm scrobbling, but if I had there would a noticeable uptake in music listened to as it is broadcast (or when I finally get to it, such as with all my vintage dance pop 90′s anime soundtracks…).
Artists (and favorite tracks) that I appreciate having found in the last year include Rizzle Kicks (Lost Generation), Mayumi Morinaga (Glitter), Of Monsters and Men (Little Talks), and Macklemore and Ryan Lewis (Same Love). Oh, and just now I learned about M.I.A., and having listened to it once, Clover is singing Y.A.L.A. ^_^
Anything else I should be aware of? ^_^