Tonight was the fourth D&D gaming session that our house played. It is notable in that we cleared a retrofitted crypt of its goblin horde, as well as leveling.
After we finished in game interactions we discussed some of the finer points of the game, such as alignment, using the character builder, and evil gods. Rather, that is what I had planned. It ended up where I was essentially projecting my fears and experiences from the last decade of role-playing onto my friends.
Near the end I realized that I had mistaken wisdom for jaded realizations, trading in fun for a rigid set of rules that protected me from frustration. As a game master I never had to face that it was happening that way because I was easy-going with everyone and told stories well.
As a player I am a wreck. I lose a sense of control. It is similar to when I play most games, I enjoy being the person that people ask for rule clarification, because it demonstrates my expertise in understanding complex systems. It is one of the reasons I play games like Magic: The Gathering. However, learning a system and not being the main source of information is new experience.
The reason I am sharing this here is because it speaks to something more about my personality than just how well I play with others (can I put that on my resume?). It drudges up memories of how I got to be this way. I am not going into detail at the moment, but it is a deep realization that will be occupying my thoughts for the next few days, I am sure.
One thing that I resolve to do is to relax. The golden rule of role-playing is that everyone have fun, and I can certainly do that without spouting off how I think people should play the game. ^_^
I will post later about the specifics of the game, along with my hand-drawn character portrait! Yeah, that is gonna be quality…