After we finished in game interactions we discussed some of the finer points of the game, such as alignment, using the character builder, and evil gods. Rather, that is what I had planned. It ended up where I was essentially projecting my fears and experiences from the last decade of role-playing onto my friends.

Near the end I realized that I had mistaken wisdom for jaded realizations, trading in fun for a rigid set of rules that protected me from frustration. As a game master I never had to face that it was happening that way because I was easy-going with everyone and told stories well.

As a player I am a wreck. I lose a sense of control. It is similar to when I play most games, I enjoy being the person that people ask for rule clarification, because it demonstrates my expertise in understanding complex systems. It is one of the reasons I play games like Magic: The Gathering. However, learning a system and not being the main source of information is new experience.

The reason I am sharing this here is because it speaks to something more about my personality than just how well I play with others (can I put that on my resume?). It drudges up memories of how I got to be this way. I am not going into detail at the moment, but it is a deep realization that will be occupying my thoughts for the next few days, I am sure.

One thing that I resolve to do is to relax. The golden rule of role-playing is that everyone have fun, and I can certainly do that without spouting off how I think people should play the game. ^_^

I will post later about the specifics of the game, along with my hand-drawn character portrait! Yeah, that is gonna be quality…