Archives For Star Trek

I was pleasently surprised to read the following opening in the DreamHost newsletter for December:

“Spock? Everything all right? I asked for that atmospheric report
hours ago.”

“I chose to ignore your command, Captain.”


“Captain, perhaps you should remand me to my quarters.”

“What? You’d better start explaining yourself, Mister!”

“Captain! Jim. It is…the pon farr. The Vulcan mating impulse. I am
having trouble…concentrating.”

“Again? It’s been seven years already? My god, Spock! We’re headed to
the DreamPress nebula now. Even at maximum warp we wouldn’t make it
back to Vulcan for another five or six weeks and the nearest Federation
outpost isn’t much closer! You’ll die!”

“I have considered this, Captain. There is only one logical

“Spock, why are you putting your hand on my chest?”

“Search your feelings, Jim. You know this is the only way. I have
considered you a friend since our earliest days at Starfleet. Today, to
save my life, I hope you will allow us to become more than just

“Spock, this is wrong. There are regulations against this. I’m your
commanding officer.”

“Of course, Captain. I understand.”


“Yes, Captain?”

“I’d be lying if I said the thought had never crossed my mind.”

“As would I.”

“I’ll do it Spock. I’ll do it.”

“Jim, you don’t have…”

“I *want* to. What do we do first?”

“Very well. Thank you, Captain. I have studied your earth customs and
mating rituals. You’ll find a bottle of Saurian brandy on the table
behind you.”

“Saurian brandy! Spock! You shouldn’t have!”

“I believe you’ll want to drink it now, Captain.”


“Are you prepared?”

“Prepared to go where my heart has been asking me to take it for the
last fifteen years? Are you kidding me?”

**comm beeps** “Captain, you’re wanted on the bridge. Forward sensors
have detected a probe from the 20th century.”

“I’m busy, Lieutenant! Mark it in the ship’s logs and move on. Kirk
out. Now, my pointy-eared friend, let’s talk about probes of a
different kind.”

It is obviously not the best slash, but it is a classic pairing, and a nice holiday gift. It continues with their sign-off, which for a newsletter is always the place to unsubscribe:

P.S. – If the very serious topic of Vulcan physiology offends your
umbrageous human sensibilities, please consider making the logical
choice and unsubscribing from this newsletter.

I’d love to know the unsub stats for this one! ^_^


January 19, 2013 — Leave a comment

Clover has eir own account on my tablet, and is learning to talk to it.

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